Karma
by Trenchcoatgirl-Kyo
Summary: Welcome, Hagane Kotetsu and Kamizuki Izumo. Welcome to something worse than Gai with a 1000 gift card to SpandexWorld: Parenthood. NOT MPREG! Shounen Ai. [On hiatus]
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Hagane Kotetsu had always known his little sister, Mika, was flighty. She had failed the Genin exam EIGHT TIMES, and run away with a washout ninja after her eighth failure, only to be seen on her annual check collecting visit since then. Her taste in clothes was almost as bad as her taste in men, and her men were about as short lived as her hair color. She was utterly a parasite upon Kotetsu's life, which had not, if you excluded the hordes of countless Genin he had tortured, been deserving of such a bratty little sister.

But he had never known that she could be this bad.

He shut the front door and walked backwards to where he'd been sitting at the breakfast table. Then he sat down and stared at the door as if it might swing open at any moment and unleash upon him Gai with a $1,000 gift card to SpandexWorld. What was actually behind it was, in his opinion, much, much worse.

"Give me the paper, please" Izumo asked blearily from the stove, where he was cooking breakfast. "I think there's a sale today."

"Didn't get it. "

"What? Tetsu-chan, you KNOW I'm not a morning person. Give it to me."

"I'm serious. I didn't get it."

"But… you JUST. WENT. TO. THE. DOOR. TO. GET. IT. Don't screw with me" Izumo growled. "I saw you pick it up."

"No. You saw me pick up something else."

"What else?"

"A piece of trash"

"And you didn't get the paper then, why?"

"There's something… vile… by it"

"What, did you piss off Kakashi and he had Pakkun shit all over the doorway again?"

"No… it was… something… viler…."

"Goddamnit. You are so dead. Go pick it up!"

"NEVER!" Kotetsu ran back into their bedroom. Izumo swallowed a scream of frustration and then went to openthe door.

He stopped. It was much worse than… well… ANYTHING Kakashi could ever think of. No wonder Kotetsu had run away screaming.

"You- YOU WHORE! YOU FILTHY MAN SLUT! YOU CHEATED ON ME AND KNOCKED SOME GIRL UP AND NOW HER BABY IS ON A BASKET ON OUR DOORSTEP! GET OUT!" Izumo screamed.

"NO! YOU DON'T GET IT! IT'S MIKA'S!"

"WHO THE HELL IS MIKA?"

"MY DAMN SISTER!"

"W-…" Izumo lowered the vase he had been about to throw at his lover's head. He remembered her…

X

X

X

"Oi, faggy, get me another beer" Mika glared at Izumo and threw her bottle at him.

… Izumo took deep breaths to remind himself that killing your boyfriend's evil little sister was a no-no.

"Whoa. You have a large and rather impressive vein sticking out of your neck." Mika pointed out cheerfully.

"…No kidding?" he replied in a strained voice.

X

X

X

"…I… That… Yes…" Izumo said calmly. Then he leapt at Kotetsu and hugged him. "Aw… I knew it wasn't you, Tetsu-chan. I love you…"

"I love you too, Momo-chan." Kotetsu mentally gave himself a high-five. A bang before breakfast- awesome. He amazed himself sometimes.

"…so what are we going to do about it?" Izumo asked in his back-to-business voice.

"About what?" Kotetsu asked lazily.

"About the baby, duh" Izumo said.

"Um… I dunno…"

"Baka. I'll go get it." Izumo sighed and walked out of their bedroom to retrieve the basket that had been left on their doorstep.

"Um… Tetsu-chan… There's something… Um…" Izumo walked back in their room with the basket. He started over "Um… was there a note?"

"Yeah." Kotetsu pulled out a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket.

"Dear Aniki,

Remember me, your darlin' little sister? You know how I didn't pick up my check in person this year? Well… That's cause I got pregnant, and I didn't want you to know. I thought I could handle motherhood, and I wanted to prove how mature I could be. But I only liked it for about a week. The birthday was exactly one week ago, on April 1. I delivered by myself, so there's no birth certificate. You'll want to get that taken care of. And I never picked out any names, so have fun with that too. I've done my part in increasing the population, and you better raise the fruit of my womb good. I went through eighteen fuckin' hours of labor for this. Don't screw this up. And I don't want you raising no queers, either.

Thanks!

Mika" He read aloud.

"Ungrateful brat. How the hell did you live with her?" Izumo asked, as he put down the basket. "And she didn't even use plurals…"

Kotetsu raised an eyebrow. "Why should she?"

"Oh, you might as well ask." Izumo said in a pained voice. He shoved the basket towards him.

What had escaped both of them the first time they saw the basket was that the baby… was babies. Mika had delivered twins.

"No. Fucking. Way" Kotetsu let his mouth drop open.

"Don't curse in front of them!" Izumo said shrilly.

"What's wrong with you? You can't tell me you actually wanted to keep them!"

Izumo looked down. "About that…"

"Hell no"

"But I always wanted to be a dad…. I want to see my line continued! I want cute little kids to call me Otto-san and to take to the park! I want people to take care of me after you're dead!"

"Who the hell said I would die first?"

"But you're stupid and reckless! And one day you'll yell at Hokage-sama too much and she'll squish you like a bug! And I'll be all alone" Izumo sobbed.

"NEVER! We're taking the damn gaki (brats) to the orphanage, and that is final!" Kotetsu said.

And none of Izumo's foot stomping, pleading, dire predictions, or lamentations could get Kotetsu to change his mind. So it was a very angry Kotetsu who escorted a weeping Izumo and the sleeping twins out the front doors and to the edge of town to Konoha's only orphanage.

"Yeah, these are twins, and they need a place to stay" Kotetsu said forcefully to the head of the orphanage. Izumo was babbling nonsensically to the babies in a corner, or, as he preferred to call it, "Saying goodbye"

"Alright, dearie. Let me just go get the paperwork." The old woman said with a sigh.

It took entirely too long for the old woman to get the paperwork, and Kotetsu was forced to sit by a miserable Izumo and watch the orphans playing. There were flies everywhere, and the place was a dump. (What Kotetsu never realized was that there were several Aburame children staying here). All the orphans had runny noses or were sick or were complaining about being hungry. He watched kids being bullied mercilessly, and he heard babies crying…

Guilt began to gnaw at him. Was he really going to leave his flesh and blood at this horrible place? He heard Izumo whimper and looked over at him.

"Just promise me that you won't become like Uzumaki Naruto…" Izumo was saying, holding onto one baby's tiny hand.

Oh Jesus. It couldn't be that hard. If you could run the Chunin exams, then you could take care of a baby. No baby could be worse than the Hokage. And it would get Izumo's parents off their backs.

The old woman came out holding the paperwork, which amounted to just about the amount that the Hokage had to deal with on a daily basis. Kotetsu, Izumo, and the babies were gone. The old woman smiled and said "Kai"

A genjutsu was released and everything suddenly everything looked cleaner and less poor. The old woman herself turned into Suzume. "Heh heh. Works every time."

X

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X

"Thank you thank you thank you! I love you so much, Tetsu!" Izumo was cuddling the babies up to his chest happily.

"If this doesn't work out, we have to take them back." Kotetsu reminded him for the twenty-first time.

"It WILL work out" Izumo replied. He hugged the babies again.

They didn't talk the rest of the way to their apartment. Once they got back inside, they sat down, to think about what they would do next.

And that's when one of the babies started to cry. And damn did it have lungs. Then the other one, not wanting to be undone, started.

After ten minutes of passing the babies back and forth between each other saying "Are they wet? They must be wet. Nope, not wet. Maybe they need to be burped. Oh, nope, not that. Maybe they're sleepy. But they were just asleep" they finally figured it out.

"THEY'RE HUNGRY!" they exclaimed in unison.

"Yeah. So you feed them" Kotetsu said.

"What the hell?"

"Hey, you're the woman in this relationship! You cook, you clean, and you go on bottom!"

"Screw you! I don't exactly have tits!"

"Argh! Well, what are we gonna do?"

"I don't know!"

"-Wait. I know what to do!" Kotetsu said triumphantly.

They lived in what Tsunade called her greatest idea. She bought five blocks of apartments that were essentially really big tin and cardboard shacks, had the Genin make the buildings a bit more stable and attractive looking, and offered them as housing for Jonin and Chunin. The one Kotetsu and Izumo lived in was for Jonin. Their next door neighbors were Uzuki Yugao on the right and Kakashi on the left. Anko (who had been their teammate once upon a time) lived directly across from them, with Genma and Raido on either side of her. Gai lived exactly one floor below them, and Asuma and Kurenai a floor above.

Anko opened her door sleepily. Today was supposed to be her day off, and she'd planned on sleeping in until noon. Instead, she'd had to drag herself out of bed to answer the door, and had crying, screaming, squalling BABIES shoved at her.

"FEED THEM! YOU HAVE HUGE TITS!" Izumo and Kotetsu pleaded with her.

"Izumo's a bigger woman than me" Anko replied before slamming the door in their faces.

"FIRE! FIRE! ANKO, FIRE!" she heard Kotetsu shout.

"I am not that dumb!"

She could barely hear whispering above the screams. "KATON: GOKAKYU NO JUTSU!"

"FIRE, ANKO, FIRE!"

"DID YOU JUST SET THE HALL ON FIRE?" Anko screamed as she slammed open the door to no fire. There was nothing except for Izumo holding the babies. Kotetsu blocked her doorway. She glared daggers at him. "I am going to kill you"

"Feed them" he demanded.

"You. Complete. Idiot. A woman has to be lactating to be able to feed children. I am not." Then she muttered something along the lines of "Who needs the Sharingan to copy this?". The next thing Kotetsu knew was that she was behind him. She shoved her fingers up his ass with enough force to throw him through the wall back into his apartment. Then she slammed her door.

"D-damnit. Time for plan B." Kotetsu said.

Much calmer this time, they knocked on Yugao's door. Then Izumo held up the babies as Kotetsu used chakra to stick to the ceiling and sprinkle feathers from the down comforter Izumo bought for them last year.

"Feed my starving children." He pleaded to Yugao, who was clearly trying to restrain her laughter.

"Um… That was really, really impressive, but… I don't know a thing about raising kids." Yugao admitted. "I never… got the chance"

A very gloomy atmosphere began to hang over the group. Even the babies seemed to sense it and got a little quieter.

"We're sorry to have bothered you" Izumo said in a miserable voice.

"Naw. Here, c'mon, I know who can handle this." Yugao said in a happier tone. She walked past the gaping hole in their wall, past their front door, and straight to Kakashi's room. "Oi! Kakashi!"

Iruka opened the door. "Yes? Oh, Yugao! Yeah, he'll be out in a sec, okay?"

"Thanks, Iruka" she replied.

Kakashi appeared a few minutes later. He opened the door shirtless and with his mask inside out. "What?"

"We need your help" Yugao said.

An hour and a half later, both babies were fed, changed, bathed, and almost asleep. Izumo and Kotetsu were amazed.

"So what are their names?" Kakashi asked after hearing the whole story.

They looked at each other blankly. "Well… we hadn't gotten around to it yet… I mean, it's been kinda hectic. Um… I always liked Mizuko for a girl… wait, what gender are they?" Kotetsu asked.

Yugao looked irritated at their stupidity. "You didn't check?"

"It was hectic!" Izumo said defensively.

"They're both boys." Kakashi said from where he was rocking one of them to sleep. Yugao was holding the other one.

"Well, I guess Mizuko is out then…" Izumo shrugged sheepishly.

"Why can't we just call them 'Ichi' and 'Ni'?" Kotetsu asked.

"You can't name them 'One' and 'Two'! That's horrible!" Yugao said.

"Okay, then, what do you suggest?" Kotetsu snapped.

"…I don't know. They're your kids" she replied.

"We're going to call them…" Izumo paused.

X

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Hey all! I'm Trenchcoatgirl-Kyo. I'm writing a Shounen Ai. How disturbing… I like boy on boy, but I've never really read too much of it. And that I'm writing it… Well, it is very strange indeed. Ah well. Plus this is my first (posted) co-written fanfiction. Me and my dearest sister Aka are writing it. She's doing all the hardcore parts.

So this takes place the April after the Chunin exams. Just to clear that up. And I assumed that Anko was on Kotetsu and Izumo's team, as most teams are made with two guys and a girl, and she's the same age. I know that she was Orochimaru's lackey, but let's assume she was on their team as a Genin, after she came back to Konoha. She shares their sadistic sense of humor, too.

And one last note- The babies have no names yet! So you can submit your votes to name them! If there's a majority vote for a name, we'll use that, if not, we'll use the ones we like best. Review or PM me to submit what you think their names should be.

Aka:

Whoa…It's been a long time since posting, even if it's not on my own account. Just to clue you guys in, I didn't really write any of this, just edited. It's all Kyo, so throw the mpreg jokes on her. No this is not going to be an mpreg fic. I like my men because they are men, and while I like some of my men to be womanly, ovaries are a different thing. So hopefully I'll get to throw in some pretty steamy scenes, but I won't be writing a tome or anything! XD

I really love this couple and it's sad that there's not a lot out there. Most of them are cute little fluffy scenes, which is good but…Yeah…I've digressed so far to the point that I can't read any manga (excluding Naruto and Death Note) unless it's yaoi. We have a subscription to Shoujo Beat and I nearly vomited all over the new "colored pages issue". Vampire Knight…ugh…

It's okay I guess but the main girl character is oh so cliché, however there are some very pretty men! ZERO AND KANAME TOGETHER FOREVER! XD They are very pretty but also suffer from the series' overall clichéness. And the plot's…well…let's not even go into it…Oh…supposed to be talking about Naruto!

Whoa…I wrote quite a bit. Guess it's making up for my lack of writing in this chapter! n-n; See you guys later, Kyo and I may switch authors chapter to chapter, but I still don't know…I'll probably just be writing the sex scenes!

-Till Next Time Kiddies!  
3 Aka


	2. Chapter 2

To chibinecco: Thanks for the name! (Hoyoshi)

**Chapter 2**

"Their names are going to be Hoyoshi and Itsuse." Izumo said.

"Okay. Sounds good. Which one is which?" Kotetsu asked. "I guess Hoyoshi should be the younger one… how do we tell?"

There was a shared shrug in the kitchen. "I doubt even Mika-chan would know… Hm…" Izumo mused.

"The bigger one should be Itsuse. This guy right here" Kakashi said, pointing to the one he was holding.

"So this guy is Hoyoshi-chan" Yugao agreed.

"Well, now that we have that settled… We still have to go get birth certificates made and buy stuff for them…" Izumo sighed. "We're going to need carriers, and clothes, and diapers, and formula… Where are we going to get all that money?" he looked pleadingly at Kotetsu.

"Mika left us this…" he tossed a 50 ryou coin at him.

"Great! That'll buy us one diaper!" Izumo replied in a falsely chipper voice. Then his tone changed as he said "Tetsu-chan… You know what money we're gonna have to use…"

"No. Absolutely not. We are not using the big screen plasma TV money on them." Kotetsu replied stubbornly.

"But I have less than fifty thousand ryou in my account. And half of that money is mine, anyways…" Izumo pleaded.

X

X

X

Kotetsu sighed "I'd like to make a withdrawal of 60,000 ryou. From the Hagane-Kamizuki joint savings account." He told Tonbo.

"Given up on your dream of four years already?" Tonbo asked in a silky voice.

"Goddamnit, I WILL own that 72 inch plasma screen, but for now… Just- damnit, give me my hard earned money. Why the hell they ever gave you this job is beyond me" Kotetsu seethed. Damn baldy always got on his nerves.

"Whatever pays the bills. So what are you gonna do with the money?" Tonbo asked.

"None of your damn business."

"Well, just wanted to make sure you're being a good dad"

Kotetsu froze.

"How. The Fuck. Do you know that?"

"I live in the same building as you, dumbass. I heard your sister on the stairs this morning, and as I couldn't imagine what a woman would be doing around your place, so I went to investigate." Tonbo replied casually.

Kotetsu snatched his money from Tonbo and stomped out of the bank. Izumo was waiting outside for him, holding Itsuse and Hoyoshi in their basket. "Ready to go?" he asked cheerfully.

"Yeah. Let's get this hellish day over with" Kotetsu sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"The map says the baby store is this way" Izumo said, pointing. "We'll go to the Hokage's on the way there and see if we can get their birth certificates made."

They walked through the center of town, attracting many stares and whispers. They put up with it, if a little annoyed. It could be worse, and they were just going to have to get used to it.

"YOSH!"

Oh gods.

"I see that you two are filled with the burning spirit of youth!"

Oh gods, Buddha and all the saints.

"Congratulations! You were so youthfully cool that I did not even notice your thickening waistline!" Maito Gai gave them the nice guy pose.

"Gai, I was not pregnant. These are Kotetsu's nephews" Izumo explained patiently. Kotetsu didn't say anything, as he was too busy choking on his laughter.

"But this one looks just like you!" Gai pointed to Hoyoshi, who stared at his massive, blinding smile as if he found it entertaining. "And I've heard you indulging in the burning, youthful passion of love at night"

Kotetsu stopped laughing and had the decency to look somewhat ashamed. Izumo resisted the urge to knock out some of those gleaming teeth and said "Gai, I am not a woman."

"Then why were you the one to speak up when I mention thickening waistlines?" Gai asked.

"Ha ha, see, everybody knows you go on bottom!" Kotetsu laughed. Izumo's cheeks went bright red.

"These are his little sister Mika's kids. We're going to be raising them." Izumo explained. Gai winked, clearly humoring him.

"Alright then! I am off to challenge my hip rival then!" Gai waved.

Kotetsu laughed at Izumo's expense all the way to the Hokage's tower. It was only after Izumo punched him for the second time that he shut up. So there was a rather nicely colored bruise forming on his cheek by the time they opened the doors to Tsunade's office.

"You're late" she said without looking at them.

"Well, there were kind of extenuating circumstances." Izumo explained. Itsuse gave a little gurgle. Tsunade looked up, and both her eyebrows raised nearly to her hairline. Before she could say something, Izumo added "We've already run into Gai and heard all the male pregnancy jokes I can tolerate this early in the morning."

"So what's the story?" she asked. So Izumo told her what had happened that morning, with Kotetsu occasionally butting in to supply commentary. Tsunade simply nodded when they were done.

"Very well. You want birth certificates made?" she asked patiently.

"Yes please." Izumo said.

"Fine. Their names?" Tsunade swiveled her chair around and started to go through a file cabinet. She pulled out two official-looking sheets of paper and dipped her fountain pen in the bottle of ink on her desk.

"Hagane Itsuse and Hagane Hoyoshi." Kotetsu said, pointing to each as he said their names.

"Fine. Date of birth?"

"April 1st"

"Time of birth?"

Kotetsu and Izumo looked at each other. "Um… well, Mika didn't tell us that, so…"

"Fine. I'd place the bigger one- Itsuse, was it?- at three thirty in the morning, give or take, and the younger one forty five minutes later." Tsunade said, writing it down.

"Based on what, exactly?" Kotetsu asked.

"A woman's intuition" she replied simply.

_Right… in other words… absolutely nothing…_ Kotetsu and Izumo thought at the same time. Tsunade glared at them as if she could tell what they were thinking, and they both began to whistle innocently.

"In any case, I'll give them a check up. They look fine, but since Mika left us with absolutely no information, we have to fill in the information as quickly as possible." Tsunade explained. "SHIZUNE!"

As Shizune rushed in the door, Tsunade began taking books off her shelves and flipping through them. "We have a post-natal check up. We're using the office here. Get me two new files, please, and a basic code 22 kit" Shizune nodded, eyebrows barely raised, and sprinted out of the room. Tsunade sighed and led them to an adjoining room of her office. It was set up to look like a standard doctor's office. "I set this up my first week here, in case of emergencies" she explained, rummaging through the cabinets. "Found you" she said.

She pulled out a scale and weighed and measured both babies, noting everything carefully on their birth certificates, and then conducted a basic examination. "All ten fingers, ten toes, no sign of Jaundice, in the 95th percentile… looks good. The umbilical cords are still attached, though. They should fall off sometime this week. They're both healthy and perfectly fine to go home with you guys." she said, handing Hoyoshi to Kotetsu and Itsuse to Izumo. Shizune ran back in the room just then, with two plastic bags stuffed to bulging. She handed them to Kotetsu, who staggered a little under the weight.

"Here you go. It's emergency supplies. There's two packages of diapers in there, a set of clothes for each of them, some bottles and a diaper bag." Shizune said. "And parenting books." She handed five or six books to Izumo. "The tabbed pages are lists of what you'll need to buy"

"Alright. You two can go now. I'm excusing you from all missions for a month, and if there's an emergency, I'll only call one of you. Or if I need you both, I'll send a babysitter. Now enjoy your parenting" Tsunade said, and then had them escorted from the building.

"Come on, let's just go to the store" Izumo sighed as Itsuse started to fuss. He jiggled him up and down until he quieted.

They walked the three blocks to the baby store, mostly in silence. Except for the part where Hoyoshi spit up all over himself and Kotetsu's flak jacket. Then there was a bit of cursing.

When they finally reached the baby store, a familiar face greeted them.

"Yugao?" they asked simultaneously. She grinned.

"I don't have any missions until later, so I thought I'd help out. You've probably had all the jokes at your expense that you can handle." she said cheerfully.

"Eh heh… how can you tell?" Izumo asked.

"Yeah… Hoyoshi threw up all over me." Kotetsu admitted. Yugao took said baby.

"Aw, that's so cute. It's the first time you've called him by name" Izumo said cheerfully.

"Hey, that is cute" Yugao smiled.

"Can this day please be done now?" Kotetsu replied, rotating his arm in the socket, where his shoulder was sore from holding babies for so long.

They went inside the baby store confidant that there wasn't anything to be worried about.

An hour and a half later, they were running from a horde of overenthusiastic sales girls and old ladies with advice, trying to balance ridiculously large shopping bags and the babies.

"If he's crying, don't shake him!"

"Sir, if you'll just look at this item!"

"Trying using a hair dryer for diaper rash!"

"There's a sale on baby shirts!"

The Jonin ran faster.

"I'm SORRY! I didn't think it'd turn out like this if I asked which brand of diaper was best!" Yugao said for the fifteenth time.

"STOP APOLOGIZING AND RUN!"

Kotetsu, Izumo and Yugao, followed by the ever-growing crowd of women shouting advice, ran past a very confused team Gai.

"What was that?" Tenten asked Neji.

"I… have no idea. And I really don't want to know" he replied. Lee, however, seemed excited.

"WOW! Never have I see old people so sprightly! THEY MUST BE FILLED WITH THE BURNING POWER OF YOUTH!" he shouted.

"Indeed, Lee" Gai replied.

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

Meanwhile, our Jonin had discovered that trees are useful. Especially for hiding from non-ninja mobs. After the stampede had passed, they breathed a sigh of relief.

And then Itsuse started to cry. The crowd zeroed in on the tree.

"Aw, F-"

"DON'T USE STRONG LANGUAGE AROUND YOUR CHILDREN, YOUNG MAN!"

And so they were besieged again.

Hopping from rooftop to rooftop worked for awhile, but the mob just followed on the streets, yelling louder.

"WIPE FRONT TO BACK!"

"SIR, LOOK AT THIS ADORABLE OVER-ALL SET!"

They finally reached their apartment building and dashed inside. They then started to barricade the doors with bookcases, chairs, a random refrigerator that was there. Sensing someone's presence, they turned around slowly.

Ibiki, who lived on the eighth floor, was staring at them strangely. He finally said "Need any help?"

"Yes, please!" Izumo said, trying to keep the barricade in place, as the hordes of women outside tried to break down the doors.

Ibiki calmly shoved the barricade out of the way, opened the door, stood in front of all the women, and cleared his throat.

"I'LL EAT YOUR BABIES!" He yelled loudly.

Kotetsu blinked, and the crowd was gone. "What?" he asked.

"I dunno, I blinked and missed it." Izumo said.

"Ditto" Yugao shrugged. There was a shared shrug as Ibiki came back in.

"Thanks" they said.

"No problem. Any time" he shrugged.

X

X

X

The upside of the whole thing was that Izumo ended up pulling an all-nighter, setting up the two cribs and reading parenting books. He'd never known that there were so many ways to screw a child up. Or for kids to get sick, or choke, or drown. Every once in a while, one of the babies would have to be fed, and they'd cry, and then eventually go back to sleep, and Izumo would pick up at where he left up in reading about colic or soft spots.

Needless to say, it was a very tired Izumo that fell onto the bed beside Kotetsu, who'd come up with the idea of taking twelve-hour shifts with the babies. Naturally, he had the second turn.

As Izumo buried his head in the pillow, he said "Tetsu-chan, go take care of the babies."

"No. They're asleep. Let me get some rest" Kotetsu murmured in reply.

As if on cue, both babies began to cry. Izumo grabbed onto the headboard and refused to let go, so eventually Kotetsu got up. As he left the room, Izumo said "They like to be sung to"

Izumo heard Kotetsu pick up the twins and settle into the rocking chair. And then he started to sing.

"A mother was washing… her baby one night

The youngest of ten, and a delicate mite"

Izumo smiled, glad that Kotetsu was finally fulfilling a fatherly role. Although he was a bit confused at the very-fake British accent.

"The mother was poor, and the baby was thin.

He was not but a skelington, covered in skin!"

Izumo strained his ears to listen, the song beginning to morph.

"The mother turned round, for the soap off the rack.

She was only a moment, but when she turned baaaaaaaaaaack!"

Izumo began to have a bad feeling.

"Her baby was gone, and in anguish she cried.

'Oh where has my baby gone?', the angels repliiiiiiiieeeedddd!"

Oh god.

"'OH, YOUR BABY HAS GONE DOWN THE PLUG-HOLE! YOUR BABY HAS GONE DOWN THE PLUG!

THE POOR LITTLE THING WAS SO SKIIIIINNNY AND THIN, HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN WASHED IN A JUG!

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGG!"

Izumo sat up, sprinting towards the room.

"Your baby is perfectly happy! He won't need a bath anymore!

He's a muckin' about, with the angels above! Not lost, but gone BEEEEEEEEEEFOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRREEE!"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DO—"

"Shh, they're asleep!" Kotetsu whispered, putting a very exhausted Hoyoshi and Itsuse back into their cribs. Funny, they thought _THEY_ were tired.

"What were you singing?" Izumo whispered as the two of them padded back to their room.

"A song my dad used to sing to me. It always worked for Mika and me, so I guess it's hereditary." Kotetsu yawned.

"So that's why you're so fucked up," Izumo grinned, opening the door to their room.

"Hey!" Kotetsu was grinning as well. The two of them stepped inside. Izumo throwing himself onto the bed, giving Kotetsu a nice shot of his ass. _Speaking of which…_

Kotetsu flung himself on top of Izumo. Earning an "OW!" and "what are you doing?" Cheshire Cat smile plastered across his face, Kotetsu began nibbling on Izumo's ear. "No!" Izumo squirmed underneath him, succeeding in grabbing a pillow and flinging it at his head as well as burying himself under the covers in one fluid movement. "I'm tired, I'm going to sleep."

Kotetsu whimpered from where his face was indented into the pillow. Pealing off the tempur-pedic (they had bought it because Izumo always complained about his back hurting) sponge from his face and stared at Izumo's already half-asleep form. His shirt (the man always insisted on wearing shirts to bed) was ridding up, exposing the well toned abs underneath, and the adorable belly-button Kotetsu had persuaded him into piercing. Kakashi was right, it did make sex a lot more fun…damn the perverted bastard and all his kinks…

Giving his best display of a puppy face he could manage in the dimly-lit room, Kotetsu murmured pleadingly, "Please Momo…it's been so long…"

"So long my ass! Pun intended! We were just at it last night! Shut up and get your ass in bed!" Izumo demanded crankily.

"Yes sir," Kotetsu lay down beside him. _Oh, you're won this battle Momo-chan. But it is I who will win the war._ Snaking a hand across Izumo's stomach, Kotetsu snuggled closer to his lover. He saw Izumo smile in spite of his exhaustion and worm his way closer to Kotetsu's chest.

Grinning in the dark, he slowly but steadily his hand began to go under his shirt and climb higher and higher. Izumo gave a little moan, before turning over to face Kotetsu. Reaching out slowly, he placed a hand behind the sea urchin's hair, pulling them closer together. Kotetsu chuckled as they kissed, the noise vibrating between the two of them. At last Izumo tried to turn back over and go to sleep but suddenly realized his mistake.

_Oh shit…_

There was no getting away now, and as Kotetsu pulled off Izumo's t-shirt he figured— well, why the hell not? Their lips met again as Kotetsu climbed on top of him, pulling Izumo's legs around his waist. Even in the dim lighting of the room, Izumo could clearly see the wolfish grin his best friend donned. They were probably going to be doing it until dawn…again…

There was a heavy thump against the wall, some moaning, and Kakashi's muffled voice panting, "Lift your hips up a little higher, Iruka-sensei…"

Well…at least they weren't the only ones at it…

The main problem about this building was the lack of soundproof walls. So their daily lives were filled with KakashixIruka/GenmaxRaido/AsumaxKurenai going at it at various times, Anko laughing or killing something in the evenings, screams coming from Ibiki's room late at night, Yugao cleaning or showering early in the mornings, Tonbo's 72 in'' plasma TV blaring in the afternoons, and Gai performing what he called his "morning youth exercises" where he woke up at four and ran around his apartment in nothing more than an apron, banging pots and pans together. This was all brought on by Kakashi, who claimed it was what made him so "manly".

So there was virtually no privacy what so ever, whether it be some couple fucking, Anko's hysterical laughter, Yugao's occasional heartbreaking sobs, Ibiki at work with his current favorite plaything (the man was kinkier than all of them combined…except for maybe Anko…Kunai shaped vibrators…damn the woman was insane…), or the bastard Tonbo watching his sappy soap opera's on Kotetsu's dream TV and screaming, "NO MIGUEL! DON'T KILL LUCIA! IT'S HER EVIL TWIN SISTER, WHO SURVIVED THE PLANE CRASH THAT TOOK THE REST OF THEIR FAMILY, WHO IS PREGNANT WITH ROBERTO'S MISCARRIED CHILD, BECAUSE SHE HAS CANCER AND WILL DIE SOON AND WANTS LUCIA TO SUFFER JUST AS MUCH AS HER, BECAUSE LUCIA STOLE MIGUEL FROM HER TWENTY YEARS AGO! AND IF YOU KILL HER NOW, WHO WILL DEACTIVATE THE BOMB AND SAVE THE PRESIDENT? ALL SHE EVER WANTED TO DO WAS PLAY THE PIANO! OH MIGUEL! WHY ARE YOU SO CRUEL? Ect."

As Kotetsu started to pull off Izumo's boxers, nibbling on his ear and pinching his nipples at the same time there was suddenly a faint noise, "whaa…whaa…". The two of them looked at each other. Suddenly it evolved into to a much louder noise, "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Kotetsu looked at Izumo frantically, mentally combating with himself on whether to just continue on or rush to the crying infant's side. Unfortunately for him…he chose the latter.

"A mother was washing her baby one night, the youngest of ten and a delicate might. The mother was poor, and the baby was thin. He was not but a skeleton covered in skin. The mother turned round for the soap on the rack, she was only a moment, but when she turned back. Her baby was gone and in anguish she cried 'Oh where has my baby gone?". The angels replied, "Oh your baby has gone down the plug-hole, oh your baby has gone down the plug. The poor little thing was so skinny and thin he should have been washed in a jug. In a jug. Your baby is perfectly happy, he won't need a bath anymore. He's a muckin' about, with the angels above. Not lost but found before!" He sang faster and without the British accent.

When the babies were back asleep, he seemed to teleport back on top of Izumo, ready to start again. Izumo smiled at him sweetly, mouthing a "thank you" in the dark before kissing him passionately. Kotetsu nearly tore his light sleeping pants off and once again pulled Izumo's legs around his waist. Izumo sat up and kissed him again making a very happy Kotetsu. Pulling off Kotetsu's gray boxers, Izumo smiled again before placing his mouth around…**(WARNING: SEX SCENE! WHOOT! n-n) **Kotetsu's **BEEP **(damn Kyo…I had something else earlier but she's all "ZOMGU! T RATING! WE'LL ASSPLODE!") and beginning to **BEEP** and **BEEP** **BEEP**. This continued on for a few more minutes before suddenly…

"WHAAAAAAAAA! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Izumo looked up at Kotetsu before sitting up, and Kotetsu was near tears. Shaking his head Izumo said, "The book did say they'll wake up and cry 4 to 6 times a night!"

Kotetsu stood up sulkily, pulling up his boxers as he went and trudged into the babies' room. He took a deep breath before… "amotherwaswashingherbabyonenighttheyoungestoftenandadelicatemitethemotherwaspoorandthebabywasthinhewasnotbutaskeletoncoveredinskingothefucktosleeppleasesoIzumoandIcanfuckthemotherturnedroundforthesoapontherackshewasonlyaminutebutwhensheturnedbackpleasedon'twakeupagainallnightorImightbeforcedtoripoutyourvocalcordsherbabywasgoneandinanguishshecried'ohwherehasmybabygone?'theangelsrepliedpleasegotosleepIzumo'ssocuteandIjustwannafuckhimrightnowpleasepleasepleasegotosleep"Ohyourbabyhasgonedowntheplugholeohyourbabyhasgonedowntheplug!Thepoorlittlethingwassoskinnyandthin,hesouldhavebeenwashedinajug!inajug!pleaseshutupandsleeporI'llendyou!IwannafuckIzumonow!Why?"Yourbabyisperfectlyhappy,hewon'tneedabathanymore,he'samuckin'aboutwiththeangelsabove,notlostbutgone,before!"

He then sprinted back into the room (ACK! I keep forgetting the spaces! XP) And continued to **BEEP** and be **BEEPED** and (I hate you so much Kyo ;-;) And so much **BEEP** that it all had to be **BEEPED** under a **BEEP**! (YOU PROMISED ME I COULD WRITE STEAMY SEX SCENES! NO ONE EVEN KNOWS WHAT "**BEEP**" IS!) **BEEP BEEP BEEEP BEEP BEPE BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP! BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPP! BEEEBEOEEBEBEBEJILWERASDFy89zsdvbjk;SDVZnklzBdfhuiopwetaBJbujnzdgksyra;BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!**

**LAWLZ SEX SCENE! BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!**

And they were so close to getting to **BEEP** when suddenly there was screaming like no screaming anyone had ever heard before! O: It was coming from Ibiki's room because he was **BEEPING** a **BEEP**! **BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!**

"I'll kill you…" Kotetsu whispered insanely. Izumo just stared at him from his **BEEP** covered in **BEEP** from all that **BEEP**!

And then the babies started crying. But Kotetsu didn't care because all his lovely **BEEP** would never actually get to be written as **BEEP** and forever stay **BEEP** so he went "Sobcry". YOU MADE KOTETSU CRY ON HIS BIRTHDAY KYO! I HOPE YOU FEEL LIKE A HORRIBLE PERSON!

And now the chapter's over because I said so. Go home.

X

X

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Aka:

Happy birthday Kotetsu. No Kyo, you don't get to type because I hate you. DON'T YOU GIVE ME THAT FLAVA ICE TO TRY TO PACIFY ME! Maybe the story will continue…maybe not…I hate Kyo so much right now… ;-;

One last thing before I go write some more **BEEP**! Didja notice how with a bit of tweaking, Tonbo's Spanish soap opera can become…

"NO **Orochimaru**! DON'T KILL **Sasuke**! IT'S **His** EVIL **older brother, Itachi**, WHO SURVIVED THE **Uchiha Massacre** THAT TOOK THE REST OF THEIR FAMILY, WHO **said your ass looked big with in that Chuunin vest**, BECAUSE** he is in Akatsuki** AND **was made fun of by ugly people for painting his nails **AND WANTS** Sasuke to not become your bitch,** **so Sasuke will come to him!** AND IF **you Kills Sasuke **NOW, WHO WILL **Kill Itachi and restore **THE **Uchiha Clan**? ALL **He** EVER WANTED TO DO WAS TO **Kill his older brother!** OH **Orochimaru!** WHY ARE YOU SO CRUEL? Ect."

-OH PS! If you couldn't tell I (Aka) started writing at, "Although he was a bit confused at the very-fake British accent." To the end of this. I'm mad because I've been trying to work on my book but Kyo's all: FNAR! TETSU'S BIRTHDAY! DEADLINE RAWr!" So I kindly started working and found out I couldn't even write **BEEP**. I hate you Kyo…

Kyo:

Anyways... Aka's mad at me because of... my editing. But I'm probably going to change the rating because of her stupidity. And her immaturity. So... yeah. Just be warned. This was a step I didn't really want to take, but there you go. Cowriting is hard. She wasn't going to let me edit her part or add notes or anything, but she doesn't know how to work so I won out in the end. She's truly being very difficult, although I did appriciate the part with Tonbo and his telenovelas

You guys know who Tonbo is, right? The guy with the bandages over his eyes from the first part of the Chunin exam. Ain't he scary? And the fact that he's handling your money... and he can't see to count... (I think he's secrectly a bat... SONAR POWERS GO!) . But anyways... wait, how can he watch his soaps? Ah well... life isn't easy for him, so I really better not be mean to him.

Oh yeah, today is Kotetsu's birthday, so I made Aka write on a deadline... she was not pleased. She really is quite the brat.


End file.
